Dear Baba

You touched on approaching the chalice the last time we had tea together. Can we go into more specifics about approaching the chalice?

My dear friend: Most certainly I would be happy to do that but first let’s sit down and have some more tea. Conversations always flow better when there is a fresh pot on the table. Now, my dear, the chalice. How should we approach the physical presence of Our Lord and Savior. How do we commune with God. We were created to do that you know.

• Prepare. There is a bit of a dichotomy here. We need to prepare but we are never fully prepared. That should in no way deter us but we need to mindful not to think we are ever worthy or fully prepared to approach the chalice. At the same time, we absolutely should not be sloppy and march on up there taking it all for granted either. I hope that makes sense.

• We prepare with prayer, fasting, confession and making it right between us and others. We are called to a liturgical fast. To be without food and water from at least midnight onwards for a morning liturgy. If you have medical reasons why this is not possible, you need to discuss it with your spiritual father. Do not decide on your own that you simply aren’t going to fast. Children are not expected to fast but many will do so perhaps in a modified form. They usually aren’t eating huge heavy breakfasts on a Sunday morning but enough to strengthen them through the liturgy.

• But fasting becomes only a diet if we don’t add the prayers, frequent confession and making it right with our family, friends and neighbors.

• Frequency of Communion. The church strongly encourages frequent communion. We have been called to the banquet. But frequent communion means an active life of preparing to receive it. It means regular prayers, it means regular confession. It means a dynamic and active life within the church. The risk is that we get complacent. We think nothing of hopping in line and strolling up to the chalice. I’ve even seen people pop gum out of their mouth on the way to the chalice. Heaven forbid it ever becomes just a point in the liturgy where we mosey up and take communion because that is what everyone else is doing. That is a frightening scenario isn’t it? How can we approach the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords so casually?

• Infrequent communion. It developed historically that many within the old world parishes only would take communion a few times a year. For Pascha, the Nativity, their name day, before they married… that type of thing. But oh did they prepare. They fasted sometimes for days, prayed, kept vigil, went to confession. It was a huge preparation. I remember as a girl greeting people who had communed with “s prechyastyom” – congratulating them on receiving communion. That trumped good morning, happy nameday, everything. People sought out those who had communed so they could greet them like that. Can you imagine combining receiving frequently with that serious preparation and celebration? That is what we are called to do.

• There are beautiful prayers to be said before and after communion. Make it a habit to say them. As is with all things Orthodox, these prayers exist in abundance. Build up your rule of prayer and preparation with the help of your spiritual father. Again, don’t be trying all this on your own.

• Practices vary in parishes but in most you will be able to go around the church venerating the icons in preparation to approaching the chalice. Do so reverently, quietly and focusing your mind and heart on the communing with God. The motion – the walking, crossing, bowing all help clear our mind of the clutter that accumulates there so readily. This is not the time to visit with our brothers and sisters in Christ. If you are not approaching the chalice, it isn’t the time to chit chat either.

• Cross your right hand over your left across your heart and continue focusing in prayer. Continue to prepare your heart. Hands should not be at your sides and especially not in your pockets.

• Nothing should be in your mouth. This is true with babies too. Some may need a pacifier on their way to the chalice but please be very careful when you pop that back in their mouth afterwards. No trace of the communion should be left in their mouth when a pacifier is given to the baby. Some priests prefer you wait until after liturgy to give a child a pacifier again. Check with your spiritual father what he requests.

• Children should be taught from an early age to approach the chalice with all seriousness and reverence. They can do it. You’d be surprised at how early an age they can learn this. But they need to commune frequently. Not only is it essential for their soul, it helps them grow into understanding how to approach the chalice. If your child panics as they approach the chalice, and some children will do that, talk with your spiritual father. I’m sure he has several good ideas of how to work with the child to overcome the panic. It is probably not the first time he’s experienced that.

• I think it is a beautiful custom that Godparents take their Godchildren to communion. But like everything else, they need time to build a bond. At certain developmental stages, a child may simply not be wiling to let go of mom or dad. That’s OK. The Godparents shouldn’t be discouraged but continue to build the bond of recognition, familiarity and trust with the child. That means the family and the Godparents should both be in church as much as possible to build that bond. May I suggest some time outside of church too?

• The priest has been given a solemn responsibility in the distribution of the Body and Blood of Our Lord and Savior. If you haven’t already done so, I recommend you read those prayers in the service of ordination. He will answer for it at the Last Judgment, just as he will answer for every soul in his flock. The priest must know that you have been to recent confession and prepared as much as possible when you approach.

• If you should not approach the chalice - don’t. But don’t sulk away either. Make it right. If that means you need to go to confession – go. If you need to make peace with your neighbor do so. Your spiritual father is there to help you and guide you. And do it now. Don’t let another day, week or month slip away from you. We have all been called to this banquet. Let us prepare ourselves and approach with fear and trembling. We have been called to commune with God.

I think approaching the chalice is really a crystallizing moment in our Orthodoxy. It should shake us out of the complacency brought on by living in a world so filled with façade, the artificial and the merely symbolic. So now, have another cup of tea and we can ponder this great mystery some more.

With enveloping hugs,

Baba