Dear Baba

We are about to have our first child. Can you please help me understand the process of picking Godparents and the responsibilities of the Godparents? - New Parents

Dear New Parents; First of all accept my sincerest congratulations. What an incredible joy awaits you. Selecting Godparents for your child is so very important and not a process that should be rushed or done in haste. So let’s linger over a cup of tea (I have some nice herbal tea for the mama to be) and talk through what it means to be a Godparent.

• In the service of Baptism, the person being baptized will unite themselves unto Christ and reject Satan and all his angels and all his works, and all his service and all his pride; and will literally breathe and spit upon Satan himself. Your sweet baby is not old enough to do that. But we do not deny an infant baptism until they come to an ‘age of reason’. God’s grace mercifully is not dependent on our level of intelligence or ability to reason. So it is the Godparents who stand for the child and unite the child to Christ and spit upon Satan. They accept responsibility for the child growing up Orthodox. The Godparents are to train them up in the way they should walk.

• It is not a responsibility to be given or taken lightly. Asking someone to be a Godparent should never be something that is given as a social favor. It is not only quite an awesome and humbling honor but a huge responsibility before God.

• The Godparents must be Orthodox and they should understand what it means to be Orthodox. They should actively participate in the mysteries and the life of the church.

• Your decision on who will be your child’s Godparents should be made over time and with a lot of prayer. Consider your options carefully; get to know potential Godparents well. You may also wish to consult with the parish priest. He will rarely tell you whom you should pick but he may have some very good guidance for you.

• There are varying customs on selecting Godparents. Some will pick just a single sponsor. A girl will have a Godmother, a boy a Godfather. This is perhaps more commonly seen in practice with adult converts but perfectly fine with infants and children as well. Some will pick a married couple and others will pick two individuals to be Godparents. Talk with your priest about what is customary for your parish.

• Godparents will help you prepare for the day of baptism. Practices will vary, but usually they help with the candle, the cross and the icon. Often they will work with the parents for the towels and perhaps even the baptismal gown. And most importantly, they will prepare themselves.

• Godparents should be prepared with prayer, fasting and confession prior to the baptism. It is a huge responsibility and one that will require their serious preparation. The Godparents should be prepared to approach the chalice with their newly illumined Godchild when that precious child receives communion for the first time.

• Godparents should take the child up for communion every Sunday. For the first 3 Sundays they should also carry the lit baptismal candle as Godparents and Godchild approach the chalice.

• The bond will be a lifelong one. The Godparents will be there to guide the child as he or she grows. The commitment is there to pray for that child always even as they become adults. There may eventually be thousands of miles between the Godparent and the child. That bond of prayer, love, support and guidance will still be felt. There are many who will designate their child’s Godparents as the child’s guardian in the event of the parents’ death. It is not required but it gives you an idea of how serious and real this bond is.

• I’ve seen beautiful examples of Godparents who lovingly teach their Godchildren to cross themselves, teach them to reverence icons and to approach the chalice. I’ve seen Godparents who spend time with their Godchildren in church and often outside of church too. And as these children grow into their teen years and become adults, the bond is there and continues to grow.

• The parents and Godparents should work together as the child grows to help strengthen that bond. It is such a precious treasure. I know one gal whose family moved away from her Godparents when she was less than a year old. She is now grown and married and while still living hundreds of miles from them, has a strong and abiding relationship with both Godparents. That is such a wonderful thing don’t you think?

So my dears, with prayers and thoughtful consideration, I’m sure your precious child will have wonderful Godparents. It will be such a joy to watch that bond grow over the years to come. Now, have some more tea and let’s talk about this wonderful baby.

With enveloping hugs;

Baba