Dear Baba
As a convert to Orthodoxy, I'm sometimes confused as to how I should interact with clergy.  What is the proper way to meet, greet and interact with the clergy? - Not wanting to offend

Dear Not Wanting to Offend, please come and sit down and have some tea and we’ll see what we can do so you do not have to worry about offending anyone. That’s exactly what Baba’s are for, you know.

There are two main things we need to consider when we interact with the clergy. First of all the priesthood has existed since the times of the Old Testament priesthood of the Levites. There is a beautiful explanation in Fr. Thomas Hopko’s series The Orthodox Faith, in Volume iii (we always referred to this as the rainbow series as each oddly shaped volume is a dramatically different color). In reading Exodus we can see that God dictated very specifically how they would serve, how they would dress and that they would be anointed. As it says in Exodus30:26-30 “And you shall anoint with it the tent of meeting and the ark of the testimony, and the table and all its utensils…you shall consecrate them, that they may be most holy; whatever touches them will become holy. And you shall anoint Aaron and his sons, and consecrate them, that they may serve me as priests.” Fr. Thomas says “When Jesus came, the new and everlasting covenant between God and man was established forever. The temple of God became the body of Christ…” We know we are all the Temple of the Holy Spirit and Jesus is the One who is the great High Priest. The priesthood of the Levites was a foreshadowing of Christ. So the ordained clergy manifest the unique priesthood of our Lord and Savior in the community. In the service of ordination, there is a laying on of hands that reaches back unbroken to the Apostles. This calling does indeed transform the person being ordained. It simply has to.

The other aspect of the priest is as a pastoral shepherd of the flock. He is the spiritual father of the community. We now live in a time where many have lost all sense of what it means to show respect to anyone let along a father. Many a father has abandoned his parental responsibilities as well making the situation even worse. Somehow we’ve managed to create a society where showing respect and honor seems almost alien.

I remember when I was growing up. Children wouldn’t dream of referring to an adult by their first name. The Russians I grew up around always were formally spoken to using their patronymic. We were respectful. What I see now days is sad and shocking. And tragically, calling adults by their first name is nothing compared to what else we now accept as inevitable or worse yet, normal. So to understand how to approach a spiritual father, we need to hearken back to a day when respect and honor (of ourselves and others) was more prevalent.

• Can you imagine getting a blessing from Christ and the apostles? In the hand of the priest comes such a blessing. What an honor to approach and request it. Traditionally, you should bow, swooping your right hand to the ground and then place it palm up into your left palm and ask “Father bless.” He will bless you and then set his hand into your upturned palms. We respectfully kiss his hand.

• Traditions vary. You will find certain old world places where requesting the blessing is reserved for the bishop. Some places do not have the swoop of the hand to the ground. Some priests will initiate an embrace others will be more formal. That is the call of the spiritual father. Not us.

• The priest serves at the wishes of the Bishop. He is not our employee.

• We are his spiritual children and as such he should be respected as the bishop’s ambassador and as our spiritual father.

• As his spiritual children, we can form a very close bond with him. But we should not forget that he is not our buddy. It should remain a father-spiritual child relationship. That means we also need to be very mindful of not just playing at the respect thing provided he is telling us what we want to hear. Just like starting a diet seems easy until that first “no” when our tummy is grumbling raises the hackles of disobedience in us, so a spiritual father’s admonition can do the same – especially in a society where we expect to satisfy all our whims and wishes on our terms.

• Spiritual fathers take on a significant role of guidance throughout our lives. Seek them out. Talk with them openly and honestly about everything. They seek to help you grow closer to Christ. Their intent is not malicious. Their blessing is sought out for example, as a couple contemplates marriage. Their blessing should be sought as you approach all the major decisions of your life.

• We need to make every day a Father’s day for them. Their first duty is to serve at the altar and then to shepherd the flock given them by the Bishop. It all comes together at the Eucharist. I’ve talked about it before and again I highly recommend that you read the service for the ordination of a priest. The Lamb is placed in his hand and he is admonished – he will answer at the Day of Judgment how he distributed this precious gift. He is also given responsibility for each and every soul in his flock. He will answer for each of us. Can you see how those two connect? They are not two separate things at all. He will shepherd us to the Great Shepherd and he is held responsible for that.

• So we can perhaps be less obstinate little lambs don’t you think? We could be less determined to do everything our way. Perhaps we could help with the many other tasks that need to be done around the church. Perhaps we could volunteer more. Am I suggesting blindly following the priest? No, certainly not as we are not a cult of personality. But there is such a huge difference between blindly following and the anti-authoritarianism that permeates so much of society now. And when not stuck in the extremes, you will find a respectful, honoring relationship between spiritual child and spiritual father.

• And if I may ask a favor. Please don’t get caught up in bashing the clergy. I’ve heard the most shameful things come out of people’s mouths. We wouldn’t dream of saying those types of things about anyone else especially with such ferocity. It seems we think that we have been given the authority to judge clergy critically and severely. Trust me, my dear friend, we have not.

• The church does not teach that the clergy are infallible. They are human with strengths and weaknesses just like us but God has called them to serve Him in a very special way and to pastor us. So why attack them? Because he doesn’t live up to the image we’ve created in our minds of what he should be? Heaven forbid we get what we think we want – clergy made in our image and likeness. That really flips the spiritual father-spiritual child relationship doesn’t it? My grandmother used to tell me that we all have a demon on our shoulders trying to make us stumble and that a priest has ten. Let’s not be one of those demons.

Thank God for the men who heed the calling to serve God at His Holy Altar. And may God bless them and keep them as they try and shepherd their stubborn little flocks. Now my dear friend, let me add some more hot tea to that mug of yours.

With enveloping hugs;

Baba